Degrees and Need of Agreement

UV 2884/10000 Degrees and Need of Agreement
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Amos 3 v 3
This uni-verse is a remedy for God-man conflict, husband-wife conflict, parent-child conflict, man-woman or a conflict between friends or partners in a business. Agreement or a meeting of minds, reaching a common decision is prerequisite for unity in the family, in the church, in the nation. We need to agree on choices, methods, habits, timing, lifestyle, views on what is acceptable and what is not for a particular individual, family or group. Agreement is based on common aspirations, convictions, beliefs, values and principles. Disagreements can lead to break up of relationships, ego clashes, friction, stress, marred and foolish decisions taken in the heat of the moment during a conflict. Living and working together requires mutual agreement. If we submit the issues that cause disagreement between a couple or between parents and a child or between business partners to the Lord, He will help us iron out the differences and reach a godly or wise consensus. The story is told of a Tamil savant and thinker Thiruvalluvar who when asked to explain how to have a happy marriage, he took the questioner home for a meal. He told the wife when she brought warm rice why it was cold and she nodded in agreement. Again, when she gave them warm water to drink, he asked why it was cold. He then explained to him that agreement is needed for a happy marriage. It is not as if the wife is to be a door mat and suppress her own personality. She might not disagree in the presence of a third person but later confront him. This is the rare and exceptional kind of agreement which takes it to an extreme or absolute level. It does not mean that the wife has no sense of individuality or right to her own opinion that one of the partners in a marriage needs to swallow his or her pride and agree, even when something seems on the face of it –untrue or unacceptable. We can also disagree without being disagreeable for very often it is the accompanying emotions over even a petty disagreement that exacerbates matters. Another level of agreement that is realistic and practical is to agree on the basics and not expect agreement on secondary or non essential matters. This will ensure a modus vivendi or a peaceful way of living or working together while respecting the individual differences in characteristics, opinions, ideas, tastes and choices.
Our relationship with our Redeemer is compared to a walk together. The question is : are we walking away from Him or with Him? Are we walking close to Him to hear Him as we walk or are we walking at a distance? The emphasis in the new testament of being yoked together equally is that our common belief and commitment to Christ will keep or bind us together even when conflict and disagreement on other issues loom large. Yoking together also implies that we are agreed on the priorities, that we are moving in the same direction and not pulling in opposite directions. The relationship between Christ and the believer is likened to a marriage. Christ is the bridegroom, the head and the church is the body. A husband and wife cannot live together or do anything together unless they agree with each other. Walking together is an expression meaning knit together as one, to synchronise our steps with one another as soldiers march to the beat of a drum. We cannot live with God unless we agree with Him, agree with His word, agree with Jesus, agree with the Holy Spirit. We need to submit our wills to Him as He knows what is best for us, as He has complete knowledge of the totality of reality and not a partial knowledge that we as humans have. We need to submit our wills to Him as we can trust Him not to do anything that will permanently harm us. We might seem to have temporary setback or loss but it is permitted to enable us to have a greater experience and understanding of His grace, mercy, justice and love.
Praying over disagreements or the issues causing disagreement can help us often resolve the conflicts that arise in families and between couples. Mutual submission and respect underline the spirit of agreement and unity. The enemy knows our inner weak points and targets these so that we become powerless or ineffective. Strengthening the spiritual fencing of our inner life, our marriages, our homes, our relationships is something we need to do on a daily basis to prevent sudden ‘fox attacks’, emotional sabotages, flashes of temper, hot –headed arguments and such guerrilla tactics of the enemy. The book of Proverbs states that the best time to stop an argument is at the very beginning. The more we engage in angry or bitter argument, the more the damage like the first breach in a dam causes the damage to escalate more and more. Sometimes, we must also reach a point where when no consensus emerges, we agree to disagree if it is only a matter of opinion and no immediate decision needs to be taken. It means that we do not allow our disagreement on some issues to rock our marriages or disturb the peace of the home.
Prateep V Philip