Principles of Wholesome Communication and Behaviour

UV 3220/10000 Principles of Wholesome Communication and Behaviour
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.
James 1 v 19

This short uni-verse reveals the principles not just of good and wholesome communication but of conduct as it were. Our tongues as also our pens or keyboards have the power of life and death. Words are double-edged and cause life or death, blessing or curses, benefits or harm. We are cautioned to first be quick to listen. We need to listen not just the words, but attempt to understand the spirit, the motivation, the attitudes, the background, the purpose, the emotions before and behind the words spoken by those we are listening to. We need to also discern the words not spoken, understand the silence of the communicator. We need to understand the body language or gestures of the speaker. Once we have understand all these nuances, only then we should venture to speak or communicate. In short, we need to listen not just with our ears but with our hearts and minds, too. We should always be in a state of readiness to listen while our default state is a readiness to speak. Words race off our tongues before we understand the consequences of what we speak.

If we continually endeavour to listen with our total being as described above, it would automatically and naturally slow down our speech. We will then have the time and space to choose our words carefully to fit the situation. Scripture says that a priest uses his lips or words to preserve and enhance life. A king speaks words with authority and rarely takes back what he speaks. Likewise, our speech should be salted with grace and truth, humility and authority. Speaking rashly, thoughtlessly, provocatively is called in scripture as the sacrifice of fools. Our speech in contrast should be God-honouring, edifying the listener or building him or her up in hope, confidence, understanding, wisdom and faith.

Not only should our speech be slow and deliberate but we should restrain our emotions, especially anger. Words once spoken cannot be recalled. It is written that anger rests in the bosom of fools. Our emotions being powerful drivers of speech should be harnessed and controlled by the reins of self control and the power of the Holy Spirit. We should bridle our control not only our tongues but our tempers too. In short, just as a strong and powerful horse is controlled by its rider, to move in the direction and pace the rider wants, we should control and ride our tongues and emotions, so that our days and lives are moving in the direction and pace that we want.